Then the cabbie said, "Listen fuck-face,

Then the cabbie said, "Listen fuck-face, I don-" and then he saw. It was Johnny Depp. The cabbie took off his hat and said, "What was it like to fuck Wynona, Mr. Depp?"

Johnny replied, "Oh it's just like with her Mom, Naomi. All the Judds get their freak on in the same way." "Ah," replied the cabbie, "I've always thought the Mom was cuter."

The cab stopped a block from city hall and Johnny got out and tipped the cabbie five bucks. "Thanks, bud. But next time try not to hit construction workers!" Take the stairs two at

As I was being persused, I threw the letter "A" I had stolen from the back entrance. It hit the thug across the temple. I was a master of literary improv. I leapt to a neon "N" to

climb oto the roof of the buidig. The Thug was i hot pursuit. From the Theater Marquee I pulled a "C" and swiped the rook in rotch. He rouched in pain. His buddy on the fire esape

grasped the D from the sig's other e a whake him i the ik har. But the thug ext took hol of the giat E a pulle o it with all his might: Th lttr am off i his ha!

He walked away with nothing more than a few broken arms and a black eye. Then he took out his thingy and whispered slowly 'Here come the grasshoppers!' Then he shrumpted another

half-hearted shrug. None of his business if the pagans celebrated the seasons this way or that. This medieval conference was even more mind-numbing than the year

-long botany of desire conference which was sadly all about making your plants sexy for eachother. Pagans could be a little weird, but i'd take them any time over the monotheists!