And Superman grabbed Lois and they kissed.

And Superman grabbed Lois and they kissed. Then he said, "You know we can never have sex because when I ejaculate, the yellow sun gives my kiegel muscles super strength and

and my semen turns into super-strength concrete. Once, when I was at a party with Spiderman,

we did that Czech skit that Dan Ackroid and Steve Martin used to do? Boy, we killed, but Spiderman kept grabbing my ass! I was forced to spay concrete at him. He's not my friend

but Green Goblin was hot. We inhaled some of his "astral dust" and the room distorted. He took my hand and we lit up the dance floor. The next morning

I awoke to find the Green Goblin staring at me lustily. I'd seen this look before. I said "whoa whoa whoa, pump the brakes and slow your roll mother trucker". The last thing I need

is a trip down to pound town from a green freak on a metallic fucking boomerang. I kicked him where the sun was currently shining, but shouldn't, before he could respond.

the Ohio state band appeared round the corner. The tune they were playing changed everything. The sweet, melodic tones were unmistakable. It was

hoot with the horn section as the band swung into it's famous medley of Death Cab for Cutie hits. Small children left their parents at the curb and joined the parade, waving flags

and carrying signs mostly saying "Hooray for Our Side." But nobody was looking at what was going down and resulting pile-up was tragic.