After the gig me and the boys hooked up with

After the gig me and the boys hooked up with the groupies, and as true rock-gods hit up some Charlie and champagne, things spiralled out of control when Jimmy the guitarist smashed

Billy Corgan's face into a pumpkin at the midnight Farmer's market on Main. A couple off-duty cops tried to detain Jimmy but he was so hopped up on crystal they couldn't hold him.

and slapped Johnny Depp in the head with the Hoblglobin's pumpkin bomb. Billy Corgan threw a blanket on Depp to put out the fire. He raised his pumpkin seed AK-47

and seeded the audience pumpkinwise. Tendrils grew out of their hair and bound them together. Johnny Depp leapt onto them shouting "I am the Great Pumpkin!" Billy Corgan strapped 2

simulacra of Boy George to his feet and began to ski down the pumpkin vine upon them. The Great Pumpkin Johnny Depp began looking for Linus, wanting to plant a few seeds in

his head about how Jesus had a security blanket, and that's why it was okay he used to trash hotel rooms. The pumpkin vine continued to grow, overtaking the garden of hack celebs,

until the burgeoning vine attained awareness of The Great Pumpkin, and decided to wipe out celebrity culture. Gojira and the Martian Cricket from Hobs End voiced their

Fascination with old hammers.

Such lovely things indeed.The beauty! The elegance! Their soothing touch against your skin. Much like wine, hammers, too, age gracefully with time, or.. should I say.. hammer time?