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I feel lonely, but at the same time not.

  • I feel lonely, but at the same time not. I'm not sure what this means, but I'm pretty sure it makes me

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  • perimenopausal. Nononononono...DON'T touch me! So why do you never touch me anymore? This is why I sometimes feel lonely, but other times not. Do these pants make me look fat?

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  • Uh-oh, this is dangerous ground. Perhaps the safest move in such situations is to helpfully offer, "Honey, would you like some chocolate?" It's closest thing to a right answer.

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  • Appeasing a woman is a full-time job, so forget your aspirations. "What aspirations?" Exactly. Address her as "Oh Haver of Slender Frame" whilst touring the Lindt Chocolate Factory

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  • in your birthday suit. -- "Ask Ayatollah" had lost its luster, the advice becoming increasingly inane. "Tell me something I don't know," grumbled Tommy Basketball as he ate

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  • out of the trash bin. Tommy Basketball woofed down half a moon pie and a half-frozen hot pocket. By accident he ingested the Ayatollah's most prized possession, the Emerald

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  • Ring. Tommy Basketball went to bed and had the strangest dream. He dreamed about being in a foreign land, searching through the trash looking for food, and about magical

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  • promises that everyone could make it here in this fabled land, if he just tried hard enough. Tommy thought about it, as he gnawed on a fishbone someone had thrown into his trashcan

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  • . Tommy was living in Trashcan Alley, sometimes called Tintown, or Hoboton, the gritty real world version of Oscar the Grouchs digs. But all that pie-in-the-sky fabled land of Milk

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  • and fish bones, couldn't bring back his Minnie the Moocher. He sucked on his cheroot, took a swig of hooch, and settled back to strumming the blues.

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