Finished Folds (1—20)
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5teach the Nigerians how to build a Chik-fil-A out of frozen chicken patties. The secret was using mustard for mortar - as they defrosted, the breading bonded with the mustard, crea
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4into the microwave and turned it on for 3 minutes. I knew the smell of melting plastic would distract Mugsy long enough to search the kitchen for his secret biscuit recipe
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3of vodka today, trying to kill that alien baby lodged in his digestive tract." Buzz had fallen face down in his own vomit. Uncle Sam kicked him disconsolately. Armstrong wished
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1...." "Shut up! I'm sick of your constant whining! Who cares if it's raw?" "E-coli! Botchelism! Flesh-eating virus! You DO want me to die!" "Well, actually, yes. Unless you've
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5riding a unicycle on his bald head. Parrot found this so hilarious that he choked on his string cheese, and Stoat didn't know how to Heimlich. Old Dog woke up and punched Parrot in
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5but Oda Mae said "Oh no you don't!" and shoved Eda Mae's head in the vat of hot sunflower oil. "Oh thank you," cried Eda Mae, "my hair was terribly dry, now look how it shines!"
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3helter-skelter toward the car and leapt into the trunk, but OJ was having none of that. He jumped on the hood of the car and began screaming. The parents said, "Mr. Simpson, don't
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3Now look what you've done! Ripped a hole in the space-time continuum! 6th-dimension beings have no ears!" Bono shrieked as a tentacle emerged from the scratch in his guitar - it
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6later at the hospital to see how he enjoyed having his stomach pumped. I did manage to get him to sign off on my latest manuscript before he started heaving and passed out. Maybe
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4ham sandwich." It almost went viral when I posted a video on youtube of the "meat slap a clown" dance that I invented to go along with my catchphrase, but the evil clown overlords
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4panic amongst the nearby "Paranoid Anonymous" group, who immediately started shrieking competing theories about which government agency had poisoned him, and donning their tinfoil
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5in my mother's wedding dress by the light of a full moon. I was often savagely beaten by the other boarders at the skate park, but once I baked them brownies laced with PCP, and
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5cranium of Mr. Peebles, who ran the donut shop down the street. Maple bar flavored brains are absolutely divine, so I lurched energetically toward Peebles' Tasty Donut Emporium,
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0beaches of Peru, where the most exotic and oddly colored shells could be found. I didn't have the funds for airfare, so I decided to sell my autographed pair of Chuck Norris' socks
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0because his hatred for Charlie Rose burned with the heat of a thousand suns. However, PBS was not amenable to his program suggestions, especially his idea for a nature show about
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2he sold her at a yard sale, and used the cash to put a hit on his rival. Unfortunately, $150 doesn't buy much of a hit man, and the attempt resulted only in his rival sustaining a
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1Joe thought fondly of the times he had spent with his grandma, stitching quilts for the homeless and drinking Captain Morgan. Big Brad would never appreciate such refined pastimes
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3"Stick it where the sun don't shine!" Mel advised, adjusting his eyepatch and hitching up his kilt. I laughed derisively. "Broccoli won't grow in the shade, you sorry excuse for a
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3reflected off Data's shiny metal ass when he decided to moon the landing party, resulting in the doubling of Picard. "How will we know which is the REAL Picard?" Jordie wailed, but
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5Gargamel was completely unconvincing and Papa Smurf seemed to have some sort of skin disease. My animation career was in jeopardy, but ever since I took that arrow to the temporal