I click create over and over again. It does

"I MUST CLICK CREATE!!!" Attempting to ignore those demonic voices, I got rid of them by bumping my head with a baseball bat 3 times. It was painful, but the silence was worth it.

The first two self-inflicted hits cracked my skull, but it's the third one that knocked me out. The bat fell to the floor, and I spiraled into oblivion, but my compulsion to click

my bic rapidly when nervous or excited remained uncured. I'd click it rapidfire at the height of passion. My big Bic was my biggest tic.

But I could kick it and your tires for free. Anytime you want. Just call me. No, no call my sister. I'm out of minutes. She will get a hold of me and i'm there.

But don't let her talk you into hiring her instead of me because I know how much pressure your tires take and it isn't what it says on the tire.

She may have more experience and better credentials than me, but I know where you live and that you are allergic to peanuts. Just saying. Oh yeah, and I worked at Burger Bloke.

After my threats to other potential applicants, I submitted my resume to become a Hot Dog Rotater at a rival company. I was hired on the spot.Success is allabout stepping on others

, as was bitterly shown me the following year. Drunk with success at my promotion to Executive Director of Hot Dog Rotation, I hardly noticed when Randy, my rival, invented the

Method of overcooking hot dogs so they look like bacon. This did not prove too popular with the audience on the food channel's Hot Dog Cookoff. Chef Louis X won by a landslide.