Investment poodle futures bottomed out but

Investment poodle futures bottomed out but the rest of my canine portfolio was doing well. I advised my clientele Afghan options were about to spike. My insider "Deep Paws"

knew of a genetic modification which would allow Afghan breeders the ability to

kink up. The Fat Girls had coats made from real Jewish hair and they loved walking around to frizz it up. It had a slimming affect. That way at the cat shows they could really

spread toxoplasmosis around the unsuspecting judges. The Fat Girls had won most of the events in the cat shows. People got suspicious and the government setup a royal commission to

remove all fat people from the land. The truth is that they didn't like fat people because the president was nearly suffocated by a fat prostitute in bed. The public didn't like

the president that much either, but he is still their president and they will stand by him no matter what! It matters not that he lost a few brain cells suffocating underneath that

sweaty armpit that the first lady kept insisting that he smell, but rather, that the president was obediant to the people's every desire. "We want free drugs & no taxes!" they

yelled outside the White House. He yelled "No!" but they yelled "We want free drugs and no taxes right here right now!" So the president said "Fine, just be quiet!" The people

then got melted chocolate down their chubby faces & the first lady handed them a wet wipe. "If you don't stop fighting back there, I'm driving this car off an economic cliff!"