The scarcity of trains made tying oneself

The scarcity of trains made tying oneself to the tracks feel like less of a death wish, so former damsels were self-imposing time to look up at the clouds. New age therapy sessions

aren't worth paper they're printed on. What women need are hunting trips. It's the only thing that ails you. In fact, I signed my wife up on a hunting trip. Dangerous one too.

She gets air dropped on an island with 6 other wives with nothing but a suitcase with designer clothes, a compact & a single pair of 6 in heels. The hunt for an eligible bachelor

would have to be postponed until after the hunt for dinner. She used the mirror on the compact to reflect the sun and attract squirrels, and then skewered them with the 6" heels.

Luckily the tiara was actually silver plated tin. She used it in the fire as a spit to cook the squirrels she'd killed with her 6" heels. The silver melted off & gave it a funny fl

This pried open your mind to all the possibilities that were available to anyone willing to get out of bed. So you dragged her out from under the covers and the two of you went

skydiving over Nikolski, Alaska’s Cleveland Volcano, wearing their Cleveland Browns jerseys, & breaking the curse by dropping a football signed by Johnny Manziel into exploding ash

in the volcano’s mouth. A horrific voice rumbled from the volcano mouth. “I’m no football fan! I love beach volleyball! Bring me Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor as a sacrifice!"

And the answer was "sorry man, I don't really know this people. What I could do for you is a foot massage. Are you up to it?"