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I stab forward with my spoon dreading the

  • I stab forward with my spoon dreading the squirming reaction. A sudden explosion oozes forth from its constraints. I fear pop-n-fresh dough.

    6
  • This dough never stops expanding. It nearly enveloped my house on three seperate occasions. But this time, I was ready. I grabbed the fire extinguisher and ferociously

    7
  • flung it, but it bounced off, hit my forehead, & knocked me out. I woke up hours later, enveloped in a giant pita. With an electric bread knife the bakers created an escape route.

    6
  • And I could escape hiding behind an empty bag of prawn cocktail flavored crisps, just as the giant entered. "Fi fi fo URRPPP fum. I smell the fried fat of an english man!"

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  • then paused, sniffed and said "Fi Fi fo Fummm ...He could be Welsh or even from the Isle of Man..." before sitting heavily at the giant table. I looked around for an escape

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  • from the drudgery of my usual life, but all that the Giant's castle had to offer were, well, GIANT escapes. Bottle of pills? Each pill was as large as me. PS4? HUGE controller.

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  • The Giant had a secret factory where these pills were produced. PS4 size pills were not for small orifices so they had to be crushed into 538 pieces for humans my size.

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  • The jagged edges made for a rough suppository experience. I decided instead to just hollow out the giant suppository and use it for a vacation home in the mountains, far away from

    4
  • the madding Crowd. Where is Julie Christie, anyway? I was so in love with her, even when she was in the dragon film with Sean Connery and Dennis Quaid...but what of the hemorrhoid?

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  • The hemorrhoid which we had last seen as a heart in Dragonheart is now the same hemorrhoid in The Hemorrhoid Of Dra. Gon & Her Hidden Pockets to Peśky.

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