In the beginning, the mind was in the gutter.

In the beginning, the mind was in the gutter. It flourished in the seeped motor oil and Miracle-Gro run-off. Angered by the filth, the Great Moderator devised the LAW which forbade

anything that was any fun or that made you feel good. Enforcement of the LAW was conducted by the MAN. Once the MAN apprehended the MIND and chained it to the ROCK, this gave rise

the PSYCHE and therefore the SOUL. The LAW shall run its course on iron wheels on iron tracks and the ROCK will continue awesomely to

crush us in our TURPITUDE. We are but bewildered sheep FROLICKING PESTILENTLY in our depravity and so the WORD proclaims the spirit of FRIVOLOUSNESS and we shall be forsaken for

ever in a LAKE of FIRE!!" Helena gulped. Is he looking at me? She wondered. "That new preacher is a real piece of work," she remarked to her boyfriend after the service.

"He was in my fraternity in college," my boyfriend laughed. "None of us believe he ended up becoming a preacher. Back then, his nickname was Handy Handsy because he had a habit of

how do I put this...thumbing for rides?" "Didn't he date Helen 'the Beard' Karpoudopoulos?" "You remember when she caught Handsy cheating at Bingo at the Sorority charity event for

blind monkeys?" Helen 'the Beard' Karpoudopoulos had heard the whole conversation because she was changing in the closet. Helen said, "For the record, it wasn't Handsy who was

adjusting the poker deal so the poor guys and gals could make out OK, it was Greko the Carp. Handsy and Greko were long dead, and everyone turned down their beer cans in memoriam.