We were at Champs de Mars. The Eiffel Tower

We were at Champs de Mars. The Eiffel Tower spotlight swept across the night sky like a giant eye and stopped, fixing us with its bright beam. The arclike legs were walking towards

Charles De Gaulle airport, intent on hijacking a plane and making it's way to NY to battle the Statue of Liberty. We knew it was up to us to stop the Tower from it's goal but there

were these beefeaters everywhere. But, they were giving TOURS! So we joined a tour to get inside the Tower. We had to stop it before the Battles of Monuments began. Besides the

tour, they were offering a bedazzling collection of Medieval paraphernalia. I thought they were rather cliché in their choice of display: armors, weapons (sigh) and shields

possible short people getting dysentery or worse from poor hygiene. So, I washed all the medieval food with

battery acid, but I'm not sure that worked as well as I planned. For one thing, the batteries in my walkman had that white gunk on them, and medieval dinner tasted horrible. King W

illiam grimaced as he bit into the roast venison that unbeknownst to him had been laced with white gunk from the batteries in a time traveler's walkman. I tried not to mirror his

moonwalking writhing in his 80's shoulder pads but it was too much and William and I were poisoned and passed into the junky stream of the universe to

live out the rest of our days as mere artifacts. A million years later, we were resurrected and went on this book tour to promote our amazing story. It IS amazing, isn't it?