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Sixteen years after her brutal death, I awoke

  • Sixteen years after her brutal death, I awoke to find my girlfriend painting her toe nails on the side of my bed. She was pale and smelled faintly of embalming fluid. She looked at

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  • me with pity. Sixteen years had gone by, and I still hadn't found a new girlfriend. "You have to get out a bit more" she said, a maggot slithering from her nose. "There's plenty of

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  • maggots in the corpse." She winked and her gooey eye lid fell into her drink. It twitched as it floated in her "sex on the beach." I tried not to stare at it. I needed a girlfriend

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  • and she was one I could literally f*ck the eyes out of. I bought her another drink and planned my next move. "Shall we take a walk along along the Wall?" I asked. Her eye said

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  • "buzz off," but her body said "you'll do" as she got up and waited for me to follow. I guzzled both drinks, rather than waste them. I mean, with attitude like that, I was going to

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  • find out what this was all about. It was a long time since I saw a woman in these parts. Especially a one like that - she took care of herself and smelled of fruit and flowers. We

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  • discussed the finer points of Battlestar Galactica over Mai-Tais. A perfect 10 and a geek to boot! What were the chances? I calculated the answers on my TI scientific calculator.

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  • It was a vintage TI 2500 with glowing red LED display. I entered 6922251, multiplied by 8 asking "Are you?" Then I hit the enter key. She looked at the display & lifted her shirt

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  • Strangely, she had a port where her belly button should have been. Reaching in, she pulled out a cable and snaked it (provocatively) to the side of the TI 2500 and *inserted* it

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  • in his mouth. Instant connection. Compatible forever. He couldn't hold back his hard drive any longer and uploaded his files into her cache. Know you know what really happened.

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1 Comments

  1. Chaz Nov 03 2012 @ 11:01

    A nerd's dream - Zombie-robot girlfriend that smells of flowers, fruit, and faintly... embalming fluid.

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