"And if you look at a penny with 3D night-vision

"And if you look at a penny with 3D night-vision goggles, Lincoln has a Hitler mustache." Everyone oohed except Pete. Why did he let Stacy drag him to these meetings? He slumped in

his folding chair and pinched his love handle. It grew a blood blister that Stacy said reminded her of

those long nights spent walking hand in hand along the riviera, the stars burning above, the wind caressing at her hair, and the dead calves rotting in the moonlight. Stacey smiled

Cattle mutilation would be the perfect way to meet new people. Stacey caressed his scraggly beard and looked deeply into psychotic eyes. "I could murder a steak, how about you?"

"I just ate the arse out of two bears. Sure, I could go for another!" They held hands as they drew their machetes and sauntered toward the barnyard. A cow mooed nervously.

'An' if we can't find no bears, any ol' cow will do!' They sneaked through the grass keeping the wind in their face. Suddenly, Pete walked into a spider's web. He panicked and

inhaled, always a risky thing to do. The spider got sucked down his esophagus & set up shop there,catching the tasty tidbits. As the spider fattened up, Pete got thinner & thinner.

Pete thought emulating the old woman had turned out to be a bad idea. The spider he swallowed to catch the fly ended up eating everything and making commentary every time he opened

eyes. Pete was very picky about what he ate, when he ate it, or why he ate it. This was a very big problem for him, but he over came his problem by