The headline screamed "Giant shrieking vampire

The headline screamed "Giant shrieking vampire hellbats invade the Vatican!" I picked up the paper and read further. "In a secret vault under the Vatican, Pope Francis I cowers as

a large vampire hellbat makes its home in His Holiness' mitre. A Vatican spokesperson claims that since the invasion of the hellbats at the Vatican, Pope Francis has appeared

irritated around in his neck. In fact, Pope Francis has been using gold bond anti-itch cream ever since the arrival of the large vampire hellbat. The hellbat's fur is very moist

and often gave him rashes from exposure. The hellbat was nice, don't get Pope Francis wrong, but he could stand to put a little more effort in to applying deodorant.

You don't guano smell his bat breath. The Pope didn't need echolocation to tell the hellbat was hanging in the chandellier of his audience hall.

Grunting benevolently, the pope ordered his cardinals to guard him against the waking hellbat with divine incantation. But unbeknownst to His Holyness, the cardinals were vying for

The top spot where the sun was still shining, even at 11pm. His Holyness was known to go there and read Gideon's Bible. The door was locked at all times so Satan could be kept out.

The footage shot by this pineal video recorder has been pored over by critics in Europe and the Americas. It shows Rocky Raccoon's paws throwing the bible out the window. A cry is

heard in the background. In the end it led to the famous youtuber pinkstylist who secretly was attempting to take over folding story and topple the reign of MoralEnd. Fail!