The lock was rusted shut, so I broke it with

The lock was rusted shut, so I broke it with a crowbar. Opened the barn doors and there she was. 67 goat with 30 years of dust and mouse dirt. But I was determined to give

the old college try. This barn was the ideal setting for my rural improv group "The Farmers in the Dell." It would be a place for comedy and espresso on the Iowan planes. The goats

of comedy would give their wacky "Baaaah Blessing" on my rural improv group. We renamed the group, "The Farmers in the Hell...you say?" Our best bit involved a rubber Dan Akroyd

pping spree would be when a mad carnival barker advertising executive kidnapped 52 of the 53 sheep and made them do a repetitive mattress commercial. Their LED lights were red.

Uh-oh. The red LED lights began rapidly blinking, which meant the 52 sheep were about to be muttonized. Damn! He needed those sheep for the commercial! Dragging the sheep out

of the slaughterhouse would take too much time. He checked his watch. He knew what had to be done. He had to sabotage the slaughterhouse by jamming his own hand into the meat grind

er. On second thoughts why not jam his head in the grinder instead? Soon, he was on the way to the pie factory as the special ingredient for Steak and Kidney pie with added Idiot

head cheese-lots of fiber filler that doesn't distort the taste!His heady contribution to the pie factory didn't require any thought-instinct of the lowest order was the main ingre

dient of his olfactory experience as he bit into a slice of mincepie. "What could pia mater with me?" he wondered aloud. It was then that the Head Engineer sauntered in and