38

Dealing out hands of multi-colored metallic

  • Dealing out hands of multi-colored metallic discs to a table of nervous participants, the steel-faced gambling robot came to rest. It then blinked its single red light three times,
  • Each of the players put down his bet and placed his member into hole below the table's edge. Only one man would go home intact tonight. I looked at the first card with horror
  • and saw that someone had actually touched by Ken Griffey Jr. Rookie card, that's it. My wife has to die tonight I thought and
  • I was gonna get my Ken Griffey autographed baseball bat and my Ken Griffey autographed baseball and hit the ball into my wife's skull. It would be too difficult to be on purpose.
  • I placed the ball on my Ken Griffey autographed tee and struck it in her direction. Unfortunately, I forgot to wear my Ken Griffey autographed athletic cup. The ensuing ricochet
  • pretty much guaranteed that I would never have children, and as I lay on the turf retching she very smartly took advantage of my inability to defend myself and swung her nine iron
  • hard, directly at my chin. "NOOOO!" I moved just in time for the nine iron to hit a rock and smash it. "Call your therapist!" The nine iron was coming at me again. Her aim was
  • getting better with each swing. "I'm SORRY!" I cried, splitting my lucky plaid golf pants as I scampered away from her 9 iron. "I swear I'll never again try killing your gopher
  • half-brother. Even if he's a gopher." She breathed heavily at me, her eyebrows hanging by a thread from where her brother had clawed them off in his dying moments. Would she forgiv
  • e his gophercide? Would her eyebrows grow back straight or tufty? Should I ask another question or end the story?
Started
2011-04-28 16:51:11
Finished
2013-09-28 09:32:05

4 Comments

  1. Avatar

    lucielucie Sep 28 2013 @ 09:35

    Oops... changed to 3rd person.
  2. Avatar

    lucielucie Sep 28 2013 @ 09:37

    I always wondered what those holes in tables were for.
  3. Avatar

    PurpleProf Sep 28 2013 @ 10:05

    I was going for referencing the classic movie "Caddyshack." :)
  4. Avatar

    kippenbeen Sep 29 2013 @ 13:28

    Oops, switched from baseball to golf. Griffey plays golf, doesn't he?

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