I heard a noise coming from the kitchen down

I heard a noise coming from the kitchen down stairs. I creep downstairs to find that it was

a large golden retriever. The dog had opened the pantry door and was eating the cat food from the opened bag. There was cat food all over the floor. Suddenly, my cat

sat down and wrote a letter of complaint including photos of the incident to the President of the Cat Protection League. A week later my dog was being dragged out of the house by

my mother who was cursing up a storm. She told my dog to get out of the house and never come back. Then she turned to me. "I told you that mutt was no good for you!" "But mom, I

--" "SHUSH! Not another word out of you! Go to your room!" I knew better than to try to reason with my mom when she was in a tizz. I went to my room & was shocked to find my dog

sitting at my desk, doing my calculus homework, his face wrinkled in concentration. My dog was so awesome! I always knew he was pretty smart. I scratched him behind his ear as he

continued to do my math. I smiled. Suddenly, the window burst open as two SWAT team soldiers swung through. They grabbed my dog. "Your dog is suspected to be an alien."

"Damn!" the dog said, unzipping his costume to reveal his alien form. "Begin the invasion!" he said into a radio. As the UFOs arrived, I cried "Now my homework will never be done!"

I just wanted you to know I will always be your sweetheart until the end of time, which is rapidly approaching...