There was a thud in the kitchen, a sound

There was a thud in the kitchen, a sound like the muffled wail of a cat, and then silence. Martha reached for her walker & started towards the kitchen, sure that this time Fluffy

had used up the last of her 9 lives. But no, there sat Fluffy with an apron on, ears back & hissing at the clump of pizza dough stuck to the ceiling. Since Martha could speak cat,

she could express "Worship me", "Fetcheth mine Fancy Feast, Summonee", and "Stand back while I revive this dead bird" in several cat verb tenses and dialects. Fluffy's livelihood

seemed uncertain despite the talents of her furry squeezebox, as Fluffy was illiterate even as cats go. Her kibble stash dwindled, so she flaunted herself for tokens on cat4.com,

Fluffy entered a downward spiral of despair. She spent her tokens on cat milk and scavenged in bins for at night. Eventually she reached rock bottom & put her kittens up for sale

on Etsy. She claimed to have crafted the kittens out of yarn.

Three years later, the velvet kitties became real and lived in her house. They were her furkids since she had no human kids. All were female, spayed and declawed so they would not

live the feral wild caterwaul essence of catness.My Aunt's velvet kitties became real only in a very limited sense.They wore little cat booties & dainty scented plugs in their anus

areas, just like my Aunt did. Whatever she ate, her velvet kitties ate too, and right off her best china. Then Auntie would wipe their little fur chins and tuck them into their bed