The most beautiful sunset you've ever seen

The most beautiful sunset you've ever seen becomes colorless when you realize you have no one to share it with and you left your camera at home. Often I prefer to be alone, but not

when I can't update my Twitter with my deep, longing poetry in 140 characters or less. I was keying my latest masterpiece into my smartphone when a shadow fell over me; it was

I replied, "Uuunngfh." because my mouth was full of caviar. Caviar I had purchased with the money I received from Mark Zuckerburg for blackmailing him with the photos I had taken.

Mark had, of course, defriended me and despite the money, I was forced to flee from his minions and henchmen. It was rumored that Zuckerberg was also sending goons. It was cold in

Antarctica, but he knew that here, surrounded by mountains of trash and far away from any other living soul, Zuckerberg would be unable to find him. At last,

could think about what he should do for the next days before he got bored. He didn't

get bored because he had two nostrils and tons of awesome crusty boogers. Stuck in traffic, waiting for the doctor, never mind, he had tons a time to dig deep and flick

the crusty nasal mucosa onto the windshield of the Lexus in the next lane. Some people in LA can't take I joke he thought when the driver swore up a storm, but when she got out the

car, he noticed it was his mom. Oh shit, he was in trouble. He left a goodbye note. And that was the last time we ever heard from him.