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I was sitting on my front porch sipping a

  • I was sitting on my front porch sipping a glass of lemonade when a large group of muscular, hairy, men came over the horizon. Without thinking I grabbed my gun. The horde was back.

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  • Mongols! Ilse rose from her chair with all of the pride of Poland in her heart. She looked at her husband and said, Lech, stay indoors. Watch the kids. I have barbarians to slay.

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  • Ilse grabbed her war axe and gave Lech a kiss. "You kids are in for a treat tonight," she said on her way out, "Mongolian BBQ." Ilse's plan was to intercept the raiding forces at

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  • Krusty Krab, where the Vikings were sure to steal the secret Krabby Patty formula. Maybe they were really working for Plankton, or

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  • maybe they just loved krab.Not shrimp,not lobster...krab was their passion and they would die before giving up.At the lab Ekaterina stared at the blank blackboard

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  • wondering when the next boat would deliver. We are out of Krab and are waiting for the North Western to makes its way back to Dutch Harbor. Ekartina had worked hard to make

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  • sure the ship wouldn't make it back to port, but we'd dealt with her the same way anyone would; Anyone with a penchant for brutality and a love of ancient torture. The ship docked

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  • in the gloomy harbor. The smoke stacks poured out an evil pall across the bay. It was so dark we decided to torture her in the open air. We ran a giant hook through her chest and

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  • suspended her over the acid pit. Frankie Jr. started to nod off at the usual place in the story and Marylin Munster pulled the Batskin quilt up and tucked him in. A sweet grimace

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  • overtook her face. The evil within her eyes faded. Beneath her lay a dainty soul, too tired to awake from the den of the wolves.

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