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I could see myself laying on the couch. Flat

  • I could see myself laying on the couch. Flat on my back, eyes closed, hands stupidly crossed on my chest like a corpse at wake.When mother saw me ran she ran to me and knocked my

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  • hamster up by injecting male hamster semen into the tiny rodent vagina. This is why I was laying so still. I took my female hamster and raised her legs up and rocked her because

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  • I saw it in the Big Lebowski. Sure enough, we got babies. And boy were they a handful! Because they all fit in my hand, and I could squeeze them all like grapes if I wanted to, but

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  • that's what my therapist bought me all of those grapes for. I didn't crush the tiny babies, I crushed the grapes. I saw another funny thing in the Big Lebowski. The scene where

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  • ..." But after 10 minutes of talking to the patient, Dr. Angstrom was bored to fucking death. "I never bought you grapes," the elderly woman reminded him, but still he happily

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  • referred her to another doctor so he would be liberated from the endless boring utterances during appointments. The doctor was his rival, and they'd hated each other since they

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  • killed that hooker in college and had her stuffed by a taxidermist, and had her mounted in an attack pose. His rival made one too many lame remarks about "mounting a hooker," so

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  • he sold her at a yard sale, and used the cash to put a hit on his rival. Unfortunately, $150 doesn't buy much of a hit man, and the attempt resulted only in his rival sustaining a

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  • broken collar bone and a very nasty temper. Needless to say, his rival was very interested in returning the favour. He skipped town. Last I heard,

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  • Rod Stewart was thinking about reuniting with Jeff Beck and Ron Wood for a reunion tour! Oh, sorry. Did I change the topic too abruptly here at the end? My mind wanders sometimes.

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