Battle stations came the cold hard command

  • Battle stations came the cold hard command over the shipboard communicator. We were finally going to test the newest starship in actual battle. The classified phoneme cannon was

  • picked up from the depot galaxy. It took overtime shifts to install it on the starship in time for the Police Actions in Sector 9. No one was allowed to talk about the work, the

  • techicians from Auriga Theta were involved in. When they were finished the transport ships debarked and orders came through to enter the warp gate and join the others at Sector 9

  • 9, which was known as the "Get Smart" sector. No one was sure why. It was at that point that all hell broke loose. The largest of the scrood

  • (a fish similar to scrod except for the extra 'o') leapt out of the water flung itself into the face of our boat captain. The entire boat capsized, we were scrood and screwed.

  • One by one, we were eaten by a giant cod (a fish similar to scrod, but minus the 's' and 'c'). Fortunately, cods don't have teeth, so we were still alive when we reached its stomac

  • The cods stomach was an interesting mixture of green and brown lakes and skeletons and rocks keeping us afloat and away from entering his intestines.

  • Ricardo looking into the digestive acid within the cod's stomach and pondered to himself how painful would it really be, to douse himself in HCl, and how long the pain would last.

  • As Ricardo contemplated this dilemma, he remembered the advice his Old Uncle Willy told him out behind the shed: If you ever think you might be swallowed by a cod someday,

  • don't go fishing, or on a pedallo or an all-inclusive cruise around the Greek islands. Ricardo followed this advice to the letter & lived a sunny life with no regrets or heartache.



  1. SlimWhitman Jun 08 2013 @ 08:01

    The dilemma is getting my head wrapped around what happened in the last two lines ;-)

  2. Zetawilk Jun 08 2013 @ 11:38

    I think the implication is that trying to live a sunny life with no regrets is a pipe dream. There's always bigger fish in the sea waiting to SCREW YOU OVER.

  3. lucielucie Jun 08 2013 @ 14:15

    I should have ended the story with '...despite living in a cod's stomach.'

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