When New York's Macys unfurled the balloons

When New York's Macys unfurled the balloons for another Thanksgiving's day parade, no one knew what had been left in the back in 1924.

It was a marionette. A dusty, musty, forgotten marionette named, appropriately, "Macy." She'd always resented being replaced by the parade balloons, especially Felix the Cat. Macy

was a white actor who played shnebish dudes down on their luck and sort of wimpy. Macy wanted to change his image but "she" wouldn't let him. She was a vixen named

Neddy Potts, and had made her name in cheap Burlesques pouring water down her nose while wearing skimpy outfits. Macy knew this, but he still wanted to marry her. He knew that if

he could see past her waterboarding striptease routine, she might forgive his peanut butter enema fetish. Besides, to Macy, sex with her was almost as good as eating pizza while

sniffing Aqua Velva fumes. Or was it the other way around? Was sniffing her pizza fumes almost as good as sex with Aqua Velva? Macy decided the difference was subtle, and he vowed

never to slice it that thin again. Aqua Velva showed his vulva and cleared his pipes. He was going to let them have it. He was going to burst into song and dance. The audience knew

this was the best show they'd seen, because they were rubes from California who ate up this pretentious vegan art house bullshit. And they were rubes with deep pockets. Aqua Velva

Which was strange, because they lived in Leeds. Unfortunately their party-master Gaz fell for the "Snorting Coked-Up Thames Eels Challenge" and that didn't go too well for him.