This funny story starts with A bank teller

This funny story starts with A bank teller gaining access to a time machine. He sat down and pulled the lever. **BFFFZZZGGFFGBZGZZBZZZZooooooopppP! "Oh mah GAWD!" he says.

Nothing appeared to be different, yet everything did. It was like he was viewing everything through funny colored glasses. He stared blankly for a few seconds at a man

reflection of his own body that in no way resembled him. He saw an image of an old lady looking back at him and following his exact movements. He walked up to her and gave her

a colonoscopy. When he woke up, his butt hurt. "Mrs. Haynes! Can you hear me, dear?" A nurse peered down at him. He wanted to shout & tell them he was NOT old lady Haynes, but when

he opened his mouth, the only thing that came out was a small hissing noise. It seemed he had lost his voice. The nurse spoke again. "Oh, yes, dear, when the camera first entered,

the surgeon sheared off your voice box, panicked, & now the camera's stuck in your lung. He's on a flight to Northern Cyprus which doesn't extradite for malpractice." He hissed sad

e's classic "Smooth Operator." I hated his hiss singing. Because it always meant that he was going to kill. Since his voice box was gone he was known as the Hissing Assassin.

"I am the Hissing Assassin," he mulled over in his mind, which actually, as it turns out, was quite vocal. It reverberated in the hollow of his mind like a bassoon performance in a

n empty recital hall. There was no audience. There never would be an audience, he realized, & crumpled up inside himself. The janitor in his head swept the stage in silence.