"I've done it!" he exclaimed, raising the

"I've done it!" he exclaimed, raising the turkey baster in triumph. "I've extracted pure beige." An air of excitement filled the lab as his TA embraced him. But Crayola's lawyers

sent a summons after he introduced his beige toner cartridges. Crayola held a patent on Beige,Cerise, Fuchsia & many others. He couldn't afford the royalties & joined the Fauvists

who had just started their Boycot-Crayola-Because-They-Suck-movement in hopes of finding a suitable (and affordable of course) alternative. Only the Fauvists were planning to ban

crayons but the pictures were all zig-zaggy because we were drunk as a wheelbarrel.

Laughing to ourselves, we sent our inebriated crayola art to the Guggenheim. A moth later, we get a call from the curator requesting more pieces. Get me a fifth and some sky blue.

So we sabotaged our crayon-forged works of art with hungry jumbo moths, and the museum begs us a commission to replace the art. I love dishonest work. People love it. It reminds

me of why I became an artist in the first place. I got out a fresh piece of paper. After some consideration, I selected Mango Tango from my Crayola box. In less than 2 minutes, I

had not only eaten Mango Tango, but also Radical Red and Robin's Egg Blue. Half way through Inchworm I stopped, shoved in my hand and threw it all up on the paper. Now that's art

. But I'd forgotten to eat a Neon Carrot crayon and the vital carrots bits were missing from my vomit art. Would it damage my artistic integrity to add them in now? You can decide.