34

Red Riding Hood awakened from the attack

  • Red Riding Hood awakened from the attack feeling strange. She felt her teeth--fangs. She looked in the mirror--no reflection. Then the wolf knocked at the door

    4
  • but she couln't stand his wet dog smell,so she told grandma to tell him she wasn't there.Little Red was not Little since being sired by Dracula himself,but it was better to avoid

    3
  • suitors and waste away in an emographic spiral of isolation. "Little" Red would subconsciously date people like Dorcula to boost her own ragged self-esteem. Dorcula squawked, "Will

    4
  • you date uh orfudonicury charunged vumpire? Red really wanted a beau with sharp teeth, like Wolf. But he'd flown the coop with Granny. She decided Dorcula could be useful & puckere

    4
  • d her lips. A kiss from Dorcula could turn lil Red into a she-Wolf, which would allow her to Git It On with Mr. Wolf. This was a perverse dream cuz Mr. Wolf was in love with Granny

    3
  • 's heart, which he rated a great delicacy, & which had recently brought about his "Burp of the Week". But Red had a thing for serial killers, & Mr. Wolf did after all own Wall St.

    4
  • Mr. Wolf had turtle soup at Binyon's. "Bloody hiccups!", he told Mrs. Wolf, who had a lovely red fur coat. His was grey. Both had lovely looking tails, which they took good care of

    3
  • beautifully. They were silky tails, clearly healthy, and Mr. and Mrs. Wolf both were very proud of their tails. They had heard that turtle soup was good for their tails- sadly, it

    2
  • was most certainly not. Unless, of course, you were looking for your hair to fall out and flesh rot. Mr and Mrs Wolf were now the laughing stock of their community. Once proud, th

    3
  • ey skulked away, shamed and disillusioned. It took years of therapy, but eventually they reemerged, both of them new creatures. Yes, that's right. Rex & Maggie: man's best friends.

    4

2 Comments

  1. PurpleProf Apr 03 2016 @ 08:10

    Love this one!

  2. Dhanithecat Apr 03 2016 @ 08:35

    Binyon's, RIP.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!