The most beautiful thing about the most terrible

The most beautiful thing about the most terrible thing that happened to me was

my dog, his name was Fresh Prince, he ate way too much ravioli this one night

he ate so much ravioli that he doubled in size

. Chef Boyardee grew in ambition too. He became Boss Boyardee & pinrolled & canned the competition like so many ricotta filled pasta pillows.The Boss wanted to expand into canned

laughter, but by that time live audiences were the preference. So Boss Boyardee decided to do a live cooking show from his own grubby kitchen with Jacques Pepin. The two got in a

huge vat of olive oil together & started rubbing each other down in a way that caused the audience to seriously question just what in the actual hell was going on. Chef Boyardee

was so sauced he didn't see Popeye's fist until until it hit him square in the jaw. "Git yer paws off my sweet pea!" Chef Boyardee stumbled out of the vat of oil

& into the frying pan. Popeye 's maniacal laugh was ugly, but not as ugly as Chef Boyardee's now blackened body. The stench of burnt pasta filled the air, as Chef Boyardee screamed

his final dying breath. "What the heck is happening here??" A high pitched voice rang from the doorway--it was the Pillsberry Doughboy!! Popeye ran to cover Chef Boyardee's body...

...but it was too late. The Doughboy spit out his cigar and opened fire with his two UZI's. Popeye tripped on a pile of intestines and cracked his head on the cold, hard floor.