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Within a few weeks, a new religion had been

  • Within a few weeks, a new religion had been born via Facebook and Twitter, with a billion adherents. "We're not here to control other people or set things on fire, we're here to

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  • control other people and set things on fire." The Failbook/Twatter cult was a resounding hit with superficial club-hopping hipster idiots the world over, bigger than Scientology.

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  • Bigger even than the Zamfir pan flute fan site. But what was more hipster? To hate twitter or to use twitter? He'd lost his hipster distinction compass and so that could only mean

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  • the treasure map was useless. He decided to sell the map at an auction but first took it to an expert for valuation. The expert looked the map over and said

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  • Are you fucking kidding me? I have been looking for this map since ages. It isn't the answer to your quest but mine. Its the map to the secret chamber of Akmanrah where

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  • legend says is hidden the long lost recipe of the first muffin ever made! ... uhm, by the wife of Noah, when it stopped raining... Even the Knights Templar looked for this map, and

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  • this historical artifact of the humble beginnings of baking can be yours for a starting price of only 150,000 £. The 1st Muffin recipe for 150?" The auctioneer was lying

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  • on a table, stinkin' drunk, bare arse in the air, and not another soul around. So I just took 'em -- artifact and all. Screw him. Then I heard voices, not from inside my head thi

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  • nking, but actual real voices. Tucking the goods down the front of my pants, I stopped to listen more carefully. HOLY CARP, Mother of Jehosephat, and SHINEOLA!!! It was none other

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  • than the members of S.H.M.A.L.T.S. (Short Hairy Manatees Against Loving Turgid Stoats) holding their annual meeting. Quietly I crept past their door, goods swinging in my pants.

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