The amazing foodini 3D food printer. Prints

  • The amazing foodini 3D food printer. Prints pizzas, pasta, burgers, sushi, pastries, bear bile, . With this special attachment severed limbs can be printed and restored. 3 installm

  • ents of just $33.33. BUT WAIT! Order now and receive a 2nd Foodini 3D food printer absolutely free! Daisy chain the two together and you can print not only a torso, but an entire

  • clone of yourself right within the comfort of your own home!" The advertisement had done its work. Carl had always wanted to try 3D printing but never had the time or money. Now

  • was his chance. He hooked up to the 3-D printer and cycled through the menu. He chose to print himself out of Play Doh with the 0.8mm extruder, high quality/ low speed, high resolu

  • tion. Unfortunately, his wifi connection stopped in mid-transmission. The result was a Play Doh Clone Golem without a chest. The thing glared up at his master. "Oops."

  • Without thinking it through, he pulled apart the nearest doll, and gave the Play Doh Clone Golem the chest of Skeletor. An evil grin appeared on the creation's face. It said

  • "GOLEM SMASH!" and proceeded to attempt to smash everything in sight. Naturally the Play Doh hadn't dried and the Play Doh Clone ended up smooshing himself into an unrecognizable

  • Cup of coffee which couldn't be put in the dishwasher unless it was autoclaved. The test tube babies were puttylike compared to those conceived normally. The autoclave cheered when

  • a new baby was born into existence without death at hand. The Autoclave didn't like death of Human's, for life is more precious than anything. Autoclave didn't believe doctors ei

  • -ther. "Autoclave love baby," said the Autoclave, cradling the newborn in its huge arms. "Autoclave name baby... Baby. Happy Baby." Happy, ironically, went on to a life of purpose.



  1. Gibber Sep 03 2016 @ 22:28

    Mmmmm! Bear bile!

  2. SlimWhitman Sep 04 2016 @ 04:34

    These infomercial products have to cover all demographics to sell well.

  3. zxvasdf Sep 09 2016 @ 11:38

    Autoclave Love Baby needs to be the name of a song

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