The amazing foodini 3D food printer. Prints

The amazing foodini 3D food printer. Prints pizzas, pasta, burgers, sushi, pastries, bear bile, . With this special attachment severed limbs can be printed and restored. 3 installm

ents of just $33.33. BUT WAIT! Order now and receive a 2nd Foodini 3D food printer absolutely free! Daisy chain the two together and you can print not only a torso, but an entire

clone of yourself right within the comfort of your own home!" The advertisement had done its work. Carl had always wanted to try 3D printing but never had the time or money. Now

was his chance. He hooked up to the 3-D printer and cycled through the menu. He chose to print himself out of Play Doh with the 0.8mm extruder, high quality/ low speed, high resolu

tion. Unfortunately, his wifi connection stopped in mid-transmission. The result was a Play Doh Clone Golem without a chest. The thing glared up at his master. "Oops."

Without thinking it through, he pulled apart the nearest doll, and gave the Play Doh Clone Golem the chest of Skeletor. An evil grin appeared on the creation's face. It said

"GOLEM SMASH!" and proceeded to attempt to smash everything in sight. Naturally the Play Doh hadn't dried and the Play Doh Clone ended up smooshing himself into an unrecognizable

Cup of coffee which couldn't be put in the dishwasher unless it was autoclaved. The test tube babies were puttylike compared to those conceived normally. The autoclave cheered when

-ther. "Autoclave love baby," said the Autoclave, cradling the newborn in its huge arms. "Autoclave name baby... Baby. Happy Baby." Happy, ironically, went on to a life of purpose.