"Robert, you're the best hacker we have.

"Robert, you're the best hacker we have. You've got the raw processing power of an I7. Now get me those nuclear codes by tonight or it's game over for America."

But just some guy who randomly guessed the President's password and entered into the system.Who even uses "psword" as a password nowadays?As the head of the country,shouldn't you b

e more safe? I didn't get it. Anyways, I had heard the virus was sucking all the data out of the server and transferring it to different countries. And not just the bad stuff.

the good stuff too. The virus was handing all our information to biologically mutated midget monkeys. They sought revenge for the experimentation done on their

genetic makeup. Soon, everyone's identity had been stolen by a mad mutated midget monkey. "Harry," Blanche rasped, "what's this bill for 900 pounds of mini-bananas?"

"I didn't buy any bananas--much less 900 pounds!" Henry said, looking at the bill. "Oh? And who did?" Neither could have guessed there was mutated monkey-business involved.

George the curious little monkey had become Gregor, the mutated Gonzo Gorilla & he was bananas about bananas & smart enough to use Henry's credit card.He just donned his yellow hat

and arranged for an Amazon delivery drone to drop off a literal ton of bananas into the Amazon rainforest. Gregor the Gonzo Gorilla bullied the local wildlife into

building a banana storage palace for him, paid by jungle taxes but exempt from paying them. Gonzo dwells there to this day, flinging poo at any who approach the yuge eyesore.