Bill Clinton scorched the top of the creme

Bill Clinton scorched the top of the creme brulee with a cigarette lighter and some aquanet. "Little thing I leanred in the service" he crooned, with the cigar

The singular package had fallen off the back of the pickup and fell onto the four lane highway of rush hour traffic. A U-Haul pumped its breaks and sent it caroming into a Prius.

The package ripped open sending rattlesnakes snaking across the windshield and onto the road. Weston yanked the wheel swerving into the opposite lane of traffic.

That was the worst window-washing hobo he'd met in England thus far. But so long as he kept his windows rolled up, the rattlesnakes had no way of getting into his vehicle. Or so

he had convinced himself. He sat there sipping his Toffee Coffee and trying not to think about the rattlesnakes. "Quite place. Quiet place", he intoned, hoping that meditation

would create an anti-snake force field. He drank from a small trough (a Toffee Coffee Troughie) decorated with "I Love Medusa" stickers. But when he started reading Genesis aloud,

snakes crawled out from everywhere, heads up, tongues slithering and swaying gently side to side. He was pretty grossed out but kept reading until he got to the part where Eve acce

pted penance and all was forgiven. "No, no, no, Moses," he protested. "That's a just plain boring plot. Eve needs to suffer more and...bring the snakes back into the scene!" Moses

looked puzzled and started to think about having BBQ ribs for dinner. With his concerntration waning Moses switched to writing romantic poetry and considered a fantasy novel.