I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next

I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next guy who says "shenanigans"!

Hammered Judge Judy. "If your sister knew she needed the car, why on earth would she tell you you could borrow it?!" "But.." "No buts! I don't want to hear any more of it. You owe

me." The Plaintiff finally couldn't take it. Judge Judy started to speak and the Plaintiff said, "Judy in disguise, that's a what you are! A-lemonade pies, with a brand new car

, Judge Judy, you're an imposter!" Judge Judy levitated screeching, the flanges of her wig flapping: "Contempt of court! Shackle the Plaintiff! Drag him to the stocks! Off with his

britches. Bailiff Byrd, prepare the Wooden Spoon of Justice and issue 20 spankings." Bailiff Byrd gulped. "Judge Judy, ma'am, the Spoon is stuck in a rock like Excalibur. No one

breathed. Judge Judy seethed. She gave Bailiff Byrd The Look and he turned to stone. She stood up and shouted "Who here is fit to pull the Wooden Spoon of Justice from the rock?"

Just then the courtroom doors where flung open by the wind. In glided Fabio wearing an original John Gotti Gumba suit."I am", he announced in badly broken English as pigeon shit

spattered in his face. But Fabio knew that pigeon shit was good for his hair, and smeared it over his golden locks. "Ew," exclaimed the jury, and asked the judge for a recess

So Fabio could wash his hair. One juror fainted from the stench, another threw up. The judge himself held his nose. The Z crystals were stolen by a monkey who thought they were