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There is such a thing as being too honest!

  • There is such a thing as being too honest! she inwardly screamed at her husband. He had simply said

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  • your vagina smells like fisherman's wharf in San Francisco

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  • but I can't pass up a "free throw". I do however insist on you facing away because your breath is worse. Do you know that Anchovies are pickled for a reason? Cash or check?

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  • When I asked if you were French, it wasn't because of your accent; it was because I could smell your crotch from across the room. When we finish, do promise to wash up by using the

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  • bathroom in the main lobby. And while you're down there, order me some freedom fries and a steak sandwich and have them delivered back up to my room. The next morning,

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  • he was still in the bathroom. I would worry but I knew from experience that he enjoyed his bowel movements. There was that scream earlier, I assumed it was just passing pleasure

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  • but when blood oozed from beneath the bathroom door, I knw that the Kohler Killer had returned to Neenah. I opened the door and saw the carnage. Bludgeoned by a chrome handle!

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  • But that would mean that the killer... was still in the room *gasp*! I turned around quickly, but the expected blow to the head never came; a couple minutes later I shrugged and

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  • was immediately hit with a frying pan in the face! (what a twist!) In my stupor, I tried to grasp my only line of defense, a jar of Miracle Whip. This might work. If only

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  • my opponent hadn't picked up a jar of mayo. "You win," I blurted. "Anything but conformity." Fixing my thin-rim glasses, I tossed my turkey sandwich into the compost heap.

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1 Comments

  1. deanantonio May 02 2011 @ 16:40

    No offense to any hipsters. lol. For all x = turkey sandwich, (x+MW)>>(x+mayo). I just think it's stupid that Kraft is pushing Miracle Whip as hipster mayo. STFU, Kraft. It's sandwich spread, not a goddamn social revolution.

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