I heard loud footsteps thudding through the
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I heard loud footsteps thudding through the bushes, much to big to be human. "RAWR!!!" A loud roar rang out and I saw a lizard-like head pop out from between the trees. "HAI!" It
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bellowed as it poked me with its razored talon. "TAG! YOUR IT!" and then tramped into the foliage. Sighing, I pulled my 3-horned bulk from the ground and trundled after him.
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Trundling is fun for about three minutes. At first it's sort of a rolling, bouncing gate. It's almost funny, but then it starts to feel like exercise. Thighs burn.
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Calves cramp. Semitendinosus spasm. Flexor hallicus longus fibrillate. Where was I? Ah, right "trundling". Or did you mean trust fund investing? In investor parlance "trundling"
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All these fancy words were confusing the young couple sitting across from him. They had won a nice, if not huge, sum from the lottery and were just looking for advice. "Trundling?"
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"Trundling." Even that word confused the couple, as they exchanged looks to see if each others partner knew what "Trundling" meant. "Yeah." The man said, "Trundling. That too...
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" The couples were forced by embarrassment into 'trundling'. They took their clothes off and sat on the carpet. They passed round some sandy compost, trowels and marigold seedlings
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. Now, without going into any graphic details, let's just say that within six weeks, they all had large, lush marigolds growing out of their behinds. The warm, moist, well-fertiliz
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ed impaction was the perfect flora to cultivate marigolds. Butt, (& that's a BIG BUTT) along with marigolds, dodders and peppers flourish in the symbiotic medium.
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And /that/ is why it should be legal for me to grow my own pizza ingredients in my own damn backyard.
6
- Started
- 2011-10-25 00:52:39
- Finished
- 2013-04-17 18:17:40
15 Comments
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Zetawilk Apr 17 2013 @ 18:18
We should do more stories that involve us attempting to give convoluted advice in everyday tasks to predictably catastrophic results.
sensedatum Apr 17 2013 @ 18:30
Love that it took 1.5 years to complete this story.
Zetawilk Apr 17 2013 @ 18:40
That's actually pretty par for the course.
lucielucie Apr 18 2013 @ 11:00
Butticulture for Dummies
PurpleProf Apr 18 2013 @ 11:40
I had to look up the word "trundling." It has several meanings... Tried to make something nice "come out of it."
lucielucie Apr 18 2013 @ 11:52
lol - I've just looked up 'trundling' in the urban dictionary! I had no idea... I didn't know what they were going to do with the seedlings when I wrote that fold.
Zetawilk Apr 18 2013 @ 12:00
If you need to look up anything I say (and I doubt it), use TFD instead.
PurpleProf Apr 18 2013 @ 19:12
Funny, LucieLucie, I thought that's what you were trying to accomplish with the trowels. ;)
lucielucie Apr 19 2013 @ 11:45
PurpleProf - It seems we were at cross purposes with unintended comic consequences!
SlimWhitman Apr 19 2013 @ 15:03
That's FS at its best.
Chaz Apr 20 2013 @ 00:01
I probably used the word incorrectly. I thought it meant "move slowly and heavily, typically in a noisy or uneven way." But it refers to wheeled vehicles. Maybe the dino was on a moped?
lucielucie Apr 20 2013 @ 14:13
Does anyone else feel like confessing to the inappropriate use of he word 'trundle'? While we're all at it? Better out than in : )
Zetawilk Apr 20 2013 @ 14:17
Looks appropriate to me. He moved in such a way as to simulate such motion. We can overlook militant semantics for the evocative sense of words.
lucielucie Apr 20 2013 @ 14:31
The wheels have come off my query.
SlimWhitman Apr 21 2013 @ 04:58
@GB: That was actually the whole fun of this story, wasn't it?