He peaked his nose through the bamboo venetian

He peaked his nose through the bamboo venetian blinds. The guy who had been following him waited at the street lamp. He heard a knock and turned. He got the worst nostril splinter.

The splinter was right in the crack between his nostril and face. Tears exploded from his eyes. The door opened revealing

someone dressed up in a Spiderman costume. Welcome to the world wide web,' he said. I hesitated for about half an hour while he wove a web around me. Gosh, now I was stuck

as many sticky hyperlinks held me fast in front of my computer. Then WWW spiderman began to suck the information out of my brain

and placed it on Pipileaks, while I sat in frozen horror in front of my computer screen. I tried to concentrate to raise my mental barriers so WWW spiderman could not get to the mo

nitor. Meanwhile. Pipileaks had published,UNREDACTED, full details of my snacking habits INCLUDING that incident with the packet of hobnobs which would make Gwyneth Paltrow blanch

her panties. There wasn't enough yen in Nagasaki to finance the bidding war that would ensue if Gwyneth's blanched panties hit the open market. I had to plug the Pipileaks dataport

with the metallic wrapper of my Fruit Stripes gum to keep the server from overloading. Pretty soon those Japanese businessmen made me very rich. Very rich indeed. I squandered my

recourses, my parents, my livelihood for this very moment. The power of my Fruit Stripes gum wrapper will be known to the world, and I will become the new giant of the computer