The elevator seemed innocuous enough. Just
-
The elevator seemed innocuous enough. Just your ordinary everyday run-of-the-mill elevator. Two floors up, my worst nightmare got on. I should have known something was wrong when
6 -
instead of turning to face the door, he just stared at my forehead. One of eyes was hazel and the other one was ice blue. "Eighth floor... Now" he gutterly whispered.
6 -
I tried to get past him to the elevator but he blocked my way and whispered, "No. You have to climb." And when I looked bewildered, he said: "Up my branches."
7 -
I was utterly flummoxed. I looked at the man. He didn't have any branches. But he insisted that I ought to climb them. So, I did. And while I was trying, my boss walked in and told
6 -
Rochelle about what I said about her in the break room. My guts turned over like a seal trapped in an oil slick. Now Rochelle knew. Oh God. She knew. I could feel her staring
4 -
down at my hairy chest, you know, the one that always has a patch missing, because of that solar tattoo of which we shall not speak. Well, too late, I suppose, for that, thanks to
4 -
The way King Jamie carried his Scottish prejudice against pork to England, and the Scots being offered pickled pork just to make it through the brutal Scottish winters. Grandma
3 -
was born a Pict & spent some time as a war bride with the Saxons before coming North of Hadrian's Wall. She'd eaten pork from the crogs & the highlands, & would continue to do so.
6 -
Parasites, be damned! She was no sissy. She would eat maggoty haggis on a stale bun without any whiskey. Obese men fainted at the very sight of her. But now the pipes are calling
5 -
and she must answer the call, lest she get stalled in the U-Bend again. She grabs a flask hanging from a peg on the wall and drinks deeply. Ah! It burns but 'tis oh so satisfying!
5
- Started
- 2013-08-20 18:07:11
- Finished
- 2017-12-12 14:33:40
8 Comments
Want to leave a comment?
Sign up!
PurpleProf Dec 13 2017 @ 23:15
Does anyone else have strange elevator dreams? I often dream I am in a elevator, trying to get...somewhere...but the elevator either hurtles up into the sky like a rocket or it moves not only up & down, but side to side...and takes me places I don't want to go...and no one else in the elevator seems perplexed or alarmed when the elevator just simply takes over. I press the buttons over and over...and sort of just pretend that I'm not alarmed...until the doors finally open and I'm in a completely different city...wearing inappropriate clothing. Interpretation??
PurpleProf Dec 13 2017 @ 23:17
So, you see...this story...how it turned out...is not that unlike my elevator dreams. I could without a doubt end up in Scotland. The U-Bend is just another direction the elevator would take me.
Woab Dec 14 2017 @ 10:25
Sounds like the elevator in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
PurpleProf Dec 14 2017 @ 10:36
Exactly, Woab!
SlimWhitman Dec 14 2017 @ 11:17
Tell me how long haf been having zis Drreem, und Your Mother, looks she like Gene Wilder?
PurpleProf Dec 14 2017 @ 11:41
Come to think of it... ;)
Chaz Dec 15 2017 @ 06:05
Always room for one more...
LordVacuity Dec 15 2017 @ 22:24
Wait, isn't there a weight limit the elevator is rated for, maybe we should look at that.