I dont have the facts to back this up, but

I dont have the facts to back this up, but I believe that cheetos are magical elf droppings. I also believe that

the Moon is a holographic projection created as part of a massive conspiracy to disguise the fact that ocean tides are really caused by aliens. However, the government refuses to

admit anything regarding that topic, in order to keep religion alive and well. Foolish mortals. If only they knew that the other planets in their solar system were actually

far more advanced than their own. Most species on other planets were already highly evolved. Only the human race and the Ligonites from Planet Jasine were moving foraward so slowly

that they were treated as intergalactic special needs species. The Humans and Ligonites were shunned from normal activities so they decided to evolve faster.

And sacrifice demands more sacrifice. An eye for an eye for an eye. I reclined in my luxury executive's chair and admired my intellect before resuming. The bi-special mind research

was mind-boggling. I slipped my glass eyes out of their sockets, placing them on the desk & sat back, trying to relax. Three heads were not always better than one. My brains

argued with each other, often coming to blows with one another. That's why I took my eyeballs out when I thought they were getting ready to fight. My right frontal lobe punched

it up a couple notches and convinced my groin to kick my foot as hard as it could. My spine went rogue and nailed a perfect rectal-cranial inversion. Then things got weird.