Ass-kicking and television cooking shows

Ass-kicking and television cooking shows were the two biggest loves of his life, so he pitched a new show: Iron Chef meets MMA. Secret Ingredient in the octogon

is determined via medieval roulette wheel. "Tonight's secret ingredient is.... knuckle. Have at it!" Master Chef Chuck Liddell swiftly prepared a knuckle sandwich and served it to

several audience members. "You can really taste the blood and freshly broken teeth!" gushed a woman in the front row. Chuck Liddell announced "Tune in next time when we sample cans

of spam." The show was quite a success, and the audience grew and grew. Slowly but surely laws started to be made in response to the creative violence and copious injuries in each

because they would never find out what happened to their beloved robot fighting squad next week, same time, same channel. Some adults were left in hysterics, crying to the heavens

for the right to watch robot wars whenever and wherever they wanted! Eventually they were calmed down by the TV channel's recovery squad and most of the carnage was cleaned up with

the quiet background music soothing several of the bystanders into respectful silence, a feat unheard of by Forpail's team, who usually had to carry weapons to scenes like this one

. He suddenly recognized it for what it was: musical propaganda and (he strained to hear) psychologically damaging weaponry. He cringed as he heard Mick Jagger muzak. His ears bled

as he smashed through the store window and stumbled into the parking lot. The Sound Police were waiting for him, batons elevated, grinning. The flow from his ears turned purple.