One day lil' J was in LA. He was very lost

One day lil' J was in LA. He was very lost in the city so he asked a guy named Derek for directions to the nearest casino. Instead of helping him, Derek wrecked him like a skrub.

So lil J went home and and cried to his hearts content. Meanwhile, Derek started dating a former skrub-rekker. One day as lil J was walking, a magazine hit him in the face.#Skrub

"Ouch! That hurt!" screamed Lil J. He couldn't believe someone would just throw a magazine out their car window like that, but he had to know who hit him.

So Lil J scribbled down the plate numbers and the make and model on his hand with an eyeliner pencil. It was all he had on hand but it did the job. The offender

sped off. Lil J ran to the nearest police station and showed an officer the plate number. "Was this written with eyeliner pencil?" He asked. "Maybe. How would you know?"

The officer did not want to tell Lil J about his regular exploits with eyeliner. The point was, the license plate was "KISSASS," the nickname for a known felon who

got a kick out of messaging the law with his novelty plates while on his brief crime spree. The King of Crunk recognized the plates but didn't let on to the eye-liner wearing cop

The eyeliner slid down the bastard's cheek. 'Tis true, Your Majesty," he cried. "The truth is..." (sound of bodice ripping)...I AM ALSO A WOMAN!" The King of Drunk stared at her

And wondered what the world had come to, for this to be true. This was unprecedented. Was it the lunar eclipse?