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What if, at the end of December, no matter

  • What if, at the end of December, no matter how many prayers you said or virgins you sacrificed or spirits you appeased, the nights got stuck & never got any longer?

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  • Holiday break would be crap. After all the hard work of gathering the virgins, you return to your white-collar job. That simply isn't a fair thing.

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  • I made a bold decision right there & then. I would not go back! Life is too short to waste doing something I hated for mere money. Who needs a job? A home? Who needs to pay bills?

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  • I made plans to couchsurf for the rest of my life, and set off for the first couch, located in Schenectady, NY. Guess I should have read the host profile closer because the couch

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  • was infested with scabies. Not like reading the profile would've helped much. I arrived at their door thinking I would be welcomed into the "best bed and breakfast" this side of

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  • Fife, Washington. But the owners of the bed and breakfast didn't welcome me. Now they more like inducted me. Of course, I didn't know I was being "jumped in" to their weird

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  • little cult. I just thought they were eccentric hotel owners. But then they spiked the bed-and-breakfast-pancakes, and next think I knew, I woke up naked and tied to a pole.

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  • They were twerking and pole dancing whilst 1000 typists were creating a typewriter revolution, which successfully created new opportunities for blasting holes in the cybersphere..

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  • The cybersphere shattered as big booty women dropped it like it's hot to Juvenile's ,"Back dat Thang Up". The twerking and butt popping caused sexy lazers to shoot the ozone layer.

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  • But when the lasers shot God in the eye, that was the last straw. God took all his beautiful big booty women and retreated to Heaven to continue the party away from the hoi polloi.

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