"...and if you are one of the first 50 callers

"...and if you are one of the first 50 callers today, we'll double your order at no additional cost!" I called immediately. I had to have the Tiddy Bear in every color!

"Hi, is this..." "Thanks for calling Sloppy's Titty Bar, can I take..." Rats, why did I have Sloppy's on speed dial? I tried again. "Is THIS the Tiddy Bear salesman? I'm a cow, so

naturally I'm vegan. Being a cow is heavy man. Like it's really far out. Like most cats lay a heavy trip on you because you say Moo and chew cud a lot. I'm like, woooow man

don't pigeonhole me. In the first place, I would hate to see the pigeon whose hole was big enough to fit me. Not that I'm bragging, but a pigeon that big must have crap the size of

Venus. And Sarina Williams--you know, the tennis player?--loves Venus. So a pigeon that big is pretty legit.

Venus had a problem. A Three Musketeers problem.

She gave the Mouseketeer bar low marks. Mercury snickered. Next up was the "Mars" bar. Venus was sure to love that. It contained rusty lances and

what was rumored to be Valentino's toenail clippings but was really just sweepings from the local nail salon. Venus preferred creamy centers, so Mercury suggested the Pluto bar.

Venus accepted Mercury's invitation. The Pluto bar was hoppin. The dancers were spacial & the drinks were stellar. They became drunk married & gave birth to a new comet, "Halley."