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M.C. Hammer decided it was his turn to make

  • M.C. Hammer decided it was his turn to make an energy drink. The only problem was that no one took his calls. He wanted to call his drink "5 Hour Hammer Time" or something

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  • and was sure that Wanda Sykes would be the perfect celebrity to hawk it. It was a sure thing - that is, until

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  • he turned on the T.V to watch the news. There was Wanda Sykes, standing on the ledge of the Empire State building in a Wonder Woman costume. "Oh well," he sighed. Back to the

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  • 500 useless channels of people full of television. There was a time when people could be full of themselves, and sure some might object -- but those days were gone. No pods needed

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  • For all my furniture, I sold it all before the move. This was a big step for me. A backpack, some gogurt, a pack of bubblegum and the open road. I put on my walkin' shoes and head

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  • ed straight toward the sunset. Of course, after about 30 minutes, I realized the I had not, in fact gone toward a setting sun, but a rising sun, having followed my new iPhone map

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  • I furthermore realized that if it was tomorrow, I'd missed my doctor's appointment. I wheeled back around, hoping to re-enter yesterday, 'cause I really needed my meds. Phew! It

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  • was still there, somehow. Time travel usually gobbled up a day or two, but the entire last week seemed intact. This meant, of course, that some other random day had disappeared.

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  • She stared at the whiskey bottle, fingers itching grab and lose more time, days, weeks in oblivion. She had to forget Frankfurt, Mr Porkly and the viscous Siberian wind.

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  • Sure, binging booze warmed her to Siberian atmos, but it was a passing illusion. She never awoke again, found laying in the snow, frozen through & through. So much for hangover.

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1 Comments

  1. BlastedHeath Feb 22 2013 @ 23:06

    I wonder if Ira Levin ever had an iPhone. I sincerely hope not.

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