Sometimes when my wife sighs heavily, it

Sometimes when my wife sighs heavily, it makes me really really really mad.

Back in the days when we wrote love letters I thought it was cute that she'd actually right *sigh" to express herself. But now after 7 years of marriage, her sighs busted my spleen

display case. They were so high pitched due to the whistling from my wife's deviated septum. I was able to save most of my spleen collection, but it was a race against time to find

where I had left my secret key before I had to leap out of the window to avoid the choking flames. I looked over to my wife and yelled

"I'M GOING BACK IN!" "NO!" she screamed. "YOU'LL BE KILLED!" I smashed in the front door, determined to retrieve the secret key. Flames licked my skin as ash and smoke rained down

from the toasters nailed to the ceiling. Flaming toast crumbs threatened to set my goatee on fire. In haste I made my way to the bedroom, where I knew the waffle iron would

create an escape barrier between me and the falling, flaming crumbs. I had to get out of there fast but where to? All of the windows were sealed shut with icing, what was I to do?

You should have eaten the icing, and fast!

she had a heart attack and died. Icing heaven.