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"Grand Moff Tarkin," said the wheezy one.

  • "Grand Moff Tarkin," said the wheezy one. "Please advise the kitchen crew that your Dark Lord would like something other than Spam Imperial Tacos now and then." Tarkin's cheekbones

    3
  • quivered as all knew that Spam was the only form of protein that did not cause explosive diarrhea in Darth Vader's very sensitive digestive system. Grand Moff Tarkin began to cry

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  • because of all of the onions that Darth was using for his crockpot beef stew. This dinner party was supposed to be the best ever, and the stomach issues everyone was having was

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  • oh, I meant were not a result of the amazing stew. After spending a year at the Cordon Bleu Darth was sure that he would be able to impress Luke and leia with his amazing skills.

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  • Count Dooku was Chef Darth's sous chef at Le Lightsabre and together they created out-of-this-world delights, in addition to their trademark stew.Customers from all over the galaxy

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  • raved about Chef Darth's mouth-watering delights. Count Dooku felt his career wasn't progressing as fast as he liked. He had heard Mr Spacely was offering a head chef position at

    4
  • his snack shop but Count Dooku wouldn't sink that low. Not even if it meant starving. He'd rather be a dish washer on Planet Wal-Mart's McDonald's satellite than work for Mr. Space

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  • and his Gluten Gang. Thundered rumbled through the Count's bowels and a turtle emerged from his hiding. It was too late. No where to run, no where to hide. The time had come

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  • To get to the gluten free section of whole foods, where they now had everything in stock. Problem was, there were no carts available, so he had to carry it. How was he to both

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  • carry around his dog's corpse AND buy a gluten free loaf at the same time? As it turned out, people were only too glad to clear a path for him, and see him served ahead of the line

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5 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Mar 07 2016 @ 05:54

    LOL What is it with Star Wars & Food? I'm adding this to my Starwars Foldary...

  2. Dhanithecat Mar 07 2016 @ 06:12

    I worked at whole foods where we had a gluten free section or two. it was a huge seller. Pun intended!

  3. BlastedHeath Mar 12 2016 @ 16:15

    The Force surrounds us and penetrates us, but it's not very filling.

  4. IceSquad Mar 12 2016 @ 17:02

    BH... Please... Don't get Slim started

  5. BlastedHeath Mar 12 2016 @ 18:53

    Heheh, he is either one of my brothers, one of my spouses, or another side of me ... no idea which.

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