In humans, pubic lice are more closely related

In humans, pubic lice are more closely related to gorilla lice than head lice are. FACT.

I scratched my crotch. "That's a pretty interesting tidbit of trivia," I thought to myself & put the paper down. I suddenly had a powerful hankering for bananas.

I looked at my reflection in the window: Gorilla. Man, it never fails, I'm chilling, hanging out, talking about whatever I see my reflection and realize I am a gorilla. Jeez!

Do you know how fast Starbucks empties out when WHAM one moment I'm mild mannered insurance salesman and the next I'm a gorilla? Do you know how hard it is to get a girl when

one day I'm a lumberjack and the next I'm a super intelligent cephalopod?" He changed into a bawling infant. "WAA uh-uh WAAA." His endless self pity and constant, annoying whining

woke every inhabitant of the underwater graveyard. Baby octopi surfed across treacherous maple syrup seas atop flaccid flapjacks in order to

Clam up the wearable coconut living next door. It was not dissable.

Mr. Coconut had a lovely shell and he refused to let anyone cut it open, until the goddess Lakshmi took out her sacred knife and loving made a curry with coconut and spinach. It

was served to Mrs. Coconut who, upon recognizing the flesh of her husband, screamed and refused to ever again offer gifts to the goddess Lakshmi. Lakshmi banished Mrs. Coconut from