In days of yore, if the Irish didn't like

In days of yore, if the Irish didn't like their king, they'd kill him, mutilate his nipples and throw him in a bog. Yes, you heard correctly re the nipples. What lesson is there

besides that Irish kings should wear pasties as a last line of defense? Men have nipples because they start as women in the womb. If we could put a stop to gender-bending fetuses

then wouldn't clothing be so much more practical? Damn it felt good to be right. I mean, wow, the rightness is exploding off of me in like told-you-so-sparks. At this rate, my awes

omeness threatened to blot out the sun with it's pure shining radiance. People averted their eyes from me - they just couldn't handle how rad I was. This was it. I had eclipsed

the rainbow-pooping cat toast everyone seemed to be worshipping. Ah, that fake idol! Finally, I have toppled it from its throne, and purged the world of nyanfans. Now all I must do

is ensure that the cats that came before - the lolcats - are also exterminated. This'll be my biggest challenge, but I'll start by cutting off the food supply. The "cheezburgers".

A little angel suddenly appeared on my right shoulder."Don't do it! You'll be sorry!" she said in my ear. Then POOF! A demon materialized on my left. "Go ahead. Kill ALL the cats!"

Suddenly, a tiny lawyer appeared on my head. "I feel it would more prudent to sue these felines for defamation of character." A minute pink unicorn said "Follow your dreams!"

"Stop!" I yelled, barely able to think for myself with all of this other advice being shouted at me. I decided that though suing could benefit me financially, it could result in

having to deal with lawyers. Zombie lawyers. The ones threatening to take over society. I heard a voice. "Threatening? It's too late now. They are everywhere. And they are coming."