Gloria breathed heavily as she sat and waited

Gloria breathed heavily as she sat and waited for me to notice. As dogs went, she had them all beat so I made the best effort to take her out before she started to leak. Damn dog

faced girls were usually predictable. They were usually very gracious dates. But Gloria was the exception. The fact she failed to mention her bowel control issue on Match.com was

all part of the mystery. He liked to play hot bed chili dog and this one promised to be a Mt. St. Helens of chili. He would take her to the Soup Plantation to really fill her up

After several doses of Imodium AD, both chili dog connoisseurs were feeling better. The gastronomical gasfest had come to an end.

Weird that he had planned the tablecloth without the actual table. Great for the footsie, terrible for the appetizers. Why couldn't his dates be more like Spanky's?

Spanky's women smacked of cheap perfume but held steady conversation in any circumstance. Why must the next sentence always be the hardest to spout?

She shouted! "Because you're talking through your nose again" the director screamed. You're driving the film editors nuts. One cut Nasal the next Falsetto. "Now Stop It" "Dammit."

She ran into her trailer in a fit of tears. "They just don't understand." She sobbed as she popped off her nose and placed carefully in the jewelry box.

Then she called Dr. Rosen and scheduled an appointment for Friday. On Thursday, she was hit by a Greyhound bus on her way to an audition. She was killed instantly.