I had been locked in the trunk for about

I had been locked in the trunk for about an hour when I heard noises outside. I had no idea where I was. Finally the

owner of Papa Johns opened the trunk of his '71 Camaro. But it was too late, I had already

spilled the anti-freeze all over it. The smell was as putrid as

the local felines curious about the sweet, syrupy aroma now emanating from the bloated raccoon. The Toxic Avengers then

howl uncontrollably, because they were all fiercely allergic to maple syrup. The birds, however,

loved syrup. After indulging however, their beaks were stuck shut... the began going crazy, busting out the window and

swan diving nearly to the ground before pivoting upward again in a motion that reminded me of the roller coaster at the

Six Flags. But this was no roller coaster and when that bird dive-bombed everyone

it just had to smack ME in the face. I think it's foot went in my nostril. You know–talk about rude.