It was a gift for the children from my eccentric

It was a gift for the children from my eccentric uncle. Toss the dice with pictures on their faces & tell a story. But last night we there was a party & we adults played. The story

resulted in each of us going home with one another's spouses. Ah, life's little games we play...a flick of the wrist, a roll of the die. Next thing you know, you're downing tequila

shots, only to wake up the next day in a bathtub filled with lime jello, with confetti covering your head, and strange designs inscribed in blue ink adorn your face and neck.

And that was what Fraternity life was all about. It sort of left me feeling empty. I can't believe my father was so in to this that he pushed me to join.

Dad always knew I wanted to B part of the frat that all the flute players belonged 2, but here I was, during hellweek at DeltaGammaZappa, washing some guys jockstrap w/my toothbrus

Any attention to the mind numbing rubbish they passed off as culture. I never went to college, as it turned out. I went into gardening. That requires no college degree, just rustic

furniture apprenticeship. Soon I climbed the sweet ladder of gardening victory, and I considered myself a "bud"ding gardener. My enemies car-rot in hell, I don't have peelings for

nitrogen depleted soil. Trying to make lemons out of lemon seeds was not for every Tom, Dick, or Prince Harry. One needed the right temperament for the task. A green thumb helped,

but patience helps even more, as it is years between a lemon seed's germination and the plant producing fruit. Just go out and buy one of those plastic lemons if you can't wait.